petition for my favourite band to play every song they ever wrote in one gig no matter how long it takes
if puppies could talk i would never even want to try and make human friends ever again
according to physics, nothing ever quite touches. when you lay your hand on something, there is a microscopic amount of space between the atoms of your hand and whatever you’re touching. so no, officer, technically i’m not jacking off right now
old folks are always telling stories starting with things like “back in the 40’s when I was a youngster”, WELL, when we’re old, we get to say “you know, back in the 12”
The awkward “I don’t want to annoy you but I really like talking to you” stage.
If I was president I’d probably get assassinated like 4 hours into the presidency
have you ever stayed up late with someone texting or chatting and known as the hours ticked by that you’d be ridiculously tired in the morning but it didnt matter because it was really fun and totally worth losing sleep over just to laugh with someone and enjoy their company maybe and then the next day you keep tiredly recalling how much fun it was while you’re falling asleep in class and that makes it not so bad that you’re tired anymore